DiGiTaL OvErDoSe Musical Productions: News

I am so sick and tired today. I am tired of working my job and not doing my music full time. I am sick and tired of passive, inactive people who won't even vote on line to support an artist me. I am sick and tired and being measured by my breast size, color and age and not my talent. I am sick and tired of not making the money I deserve and struggling like a dog in spite of the fact that I work like one. I am sick and tired of phony people who act one way one day and another way the next day. I am sick of reaching out to people, trying to build friendships and having them act like they are doing me a favor. I am sick and tired of millions of people making the dancing cat an internet sensation on Youtube, while videos of substance like 9/11 or Ignorance Is Bliss about the genocide in Rawanda barely get viewed. I am sick and tired of scanning my Facebook page for meaningful connection only to find a series of self serving, unconnected, random thoughts, shout outs and periodic comments about insignificant nonsense. I am sick and tired of having to be politically correct so I don't offend anyone with what I say or how I act. I am sick and tired not being able to meet a strong, successful, confident, funny, single, honest, sensitive, chivalrous, attractive man who is interested in dating and courageous enough to get out from behind the computer and say hello like a real person in person. I am sick and tired of feeling like I have to "dumb it down" to be accepted and appear non threatening to certain people. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired, but I will not be moved. I promise myself to continue to be me in all my brightness and blackness. I will continue to strive to be the best I can every day and speak my truth. I will continue to make my music not for the masses but for the one who heard "Sane" at a recent show and cried because he finally felt like someone understood him.I will continue to look in the mirror at my Hershey chocolate skin, my thick hips, my kinky hair, my curved lips and tell myself " I am beautiful and worthy of everything I seek. I am a child of God and perfect just as I am. I will remind myself that I path I chose is less traveled and it is lonely at the top. I will continue to thank God for each day as a gift and a new opportunity to be better than my best. I promise to remember that even when it seems that I am alone, I am not. As in the poem "Footprints", Jesus carries me when my load is heaviest. I will not be moved. I promise myself that I will not wear my heart on my sleeve, but as a badge of honor on my chest to share and be shared with. Peace, love and hairgrease.

Better late than never. This is what happens when you don't have staff of writers yet. I recently had the pleasure of performing at Derby Day in Derby Connecticut on Saturday, June 26th, thanks to our recent affiliation with the Valley Arts Council. I must admit, I was a little apprehensive. I had never done a street festival in Derby and I wasn't sure what to expect. It was a beautiful day. The ride from my house was effortless and I found parking a few feet away from the entrance. I planned to bring jewelry and CD's and my drum, but I ended up leaving everything in the car except for my Street Performing Case (This is a big travel tote on wheels with a pull up handle that I can put my Street Cube and other stuff. It is large enough for me to have put my jewelry, CD's and drum, but I did not prepare my case in advance. (Remember the importance of preparing in advance. This way you don't forget things.) With a deep breath, my son and his friend and an open heart, off I went to play my heart out. My partner in crime, Moonshine Kellie and I set up at the entrance of the Derby Green under a nice big tree in what appeared to be the children's area. There were lots of games, activities and people. The first songs are always the roughest as you get your sound and feel correct. As we were setting up, a 4 piece "barber shop" style band came over and proceeded to play a song. I am sure the expression on my face said everything and one of the members assured me that they would only play one song. As we played people stopped to listen, sat down and chilled and the people in the tent next to us encouraged us to keep playing. Some people put money in the tip basket. After an hour or so, we moved on to the next spot right on the street in between The Hill Health Center tent and a toy tent. The vibe was great! People stopped, tipped and applauded. I was feeling the love and the kids were having a ball. The music flowing onto the street, and latched on like a soundtrack to the sights and sounds of kids playing, families walking together, merchants hawking their wares and scents of various foods dancing in the air. I was at home. I felt like I was in NYC. People got it. Unlike a lot of cities in CT, people in Derby seemed to fully embrace and understand the Street Performer and the natural thing to do was to listen, applaud and tip. Simple and fabulous. Its amazing how some of the biggest ideas can come out of the smallest towns. Thanks Derby CT. and everyone at The Valley Arts Council!

www.youtube.com/user/DivaShadow -

Modern rock/spoken word songstress Shadow is seeking a professional, serious, hungry bass player to join Shadow and Company to play original progressive, modern and folk rock. Needs to be be pursuing music as a career and have the ability to dream...big!
Should be interested in recording, touring and promoting in order to grow and develop. For the full story, check out the music. If interested call (203)606-2456. Peace.

Hello all, I am so excited! The Digital OverDose is up and online. The official
Shadow blog. Each week I will be blogging about balancing my life and music career,
tips on living a success driven life and whats new and hot at Digital OverDose
Musical Productions.I would love to host Guest Bloggers, so if you have something on
your mind, but don't want to blog regularly, email me and I would love to work with
you. You can also get my blog on your favorite home page as a RSS feed, so you don't
have to switch back and forth between your favorite sites. Please visit my blog,
take the survey, check out the latest music video and subscribe to get your weekly
fix of The Digital OverDose!
www.thedigitaloverdose.blogspot.com

Hello and Happy Spring. I am out of school and gigging. I am trying to get a spot at The Lilith Fair Festival and I need your help! I am on OurStage.com and it is fabulous! Its a great place to discover new music and support Indie artists.

TO HELP ME WIN:

Step #1: Visit http://www.ourstage.com/
Step #2: Sign up as a fan

**EXTRA STEP** - FAVORITE ME!
Go to: http://www.ourstage.com/fanclub/shadowandcompany and click "Make This My Favorite Artist" to guarantee that my song comes up often!!

Step #3: Go to http://bit.ly/cA41HK (Hartford Section of the contest)

Step #4: Listen to 15 secs of the songs that come up and if my new song "I'm Not Sorry" comes up vote #1!

Step #5: Rinse and repeat until MAY 24th!!

Hello everyone, sorry for not being around for a couple of weeks, but sometimes its like that. I am thrilled to be at the end of the school year and am preparing to do a bunch of shows this summer. I hope to see you all. the May Day Festival was fabulous and thanks to all of you who supported it. In a couple of days I will post the new song of the month and by the end of May, I will be releasing a new music video. In the meantime, be your best, do your best, believe and God will do the rest.

Thanks everyone for breaking records again. I guess judging from the numbers you all like the new look of the website and the new features. This month I am releasing "I'm Not Sorry". I wrote this song in 2003 when I owned a booth in an indoor merchant market

Friday was a tough day because while driving to work,I heard a news story of how a 7 year old girl had been gang raped by a group of her fathers friends. According to the story, she had been sold or rented to them by a family member. The father would later appear in court in support of his friends. I welled up with tears. By 6pm, I watched the story of how a family had put their 7 year old adopted son on a plane by himself for a 14 hour flight from the US to Russia because they no longer wanted him. When I heard this my hear began to ache with pain. I thought I was going to have an anxiety attack. I looked at my 9 year old son laying on the floor playing a game on my laptop and I fought back the tears. I wondered what could cause adults to treat children so horribly. We are supposed to protect our young and instead it seems that the longer I live, the more heinous the crimes I hear about. I never imagined living in such a vicious society. My children and I have been victims of various crimes and I know how devastating it can be mentally and emotionally. We survived, but went through a lot of changes to heal and in some ways we still have not. I am grateful none of us were killed. I thank God every day, but for the grace of God go I. For those who are victimized it steals a piece of our souls and as long as anyone is abused, used or mistreated, our humanity is diminished.

Just released "Sane" for use in the public domain under www.creativecommons.org. Its a really cool site that encourages the free use of music by the public in a variety of different ways.Users can download music from artists that they can use, modify, distribute, incorporate into their videos as long as they comply with the license use. Each song has a different license use. For example; "Sane" is licensed to be modified, use and distribution as long as you give me, the artist credit. It can not be sold, but it can be freely distributed. It sounds like what I am doing anyways right? the difference is that I now avail my song to a whole different group of people looking for music to incorporate into their videos, remix, experiment with, listen to and share with others. There are 4 types of licenses and the artist decides how they want to license their song. I am loving this on so many levels!

i have 5 more weeks of classes and I am looking forward to resuming street performing in downtown New Haven. I have a lot of surprises for my fans and I am very excited! I am updating my recording studio and applying for internships in NYC. I am hoping we resume the Secret Coffee House and have a few house concerts. Thanks for your support. Peace, Love and Hair Grease.

In celebration of this milestone and in preparation of the summer, I would like to encourage you to download Changes and Sane. Happy 1st New HealthCare Day!

Thank you President Obama and our Democratic representatives for standing up for us!

I started this website almost four years ago to promote Digital OverDose Musical Productions and its artists. Looking back, I have made some good descisions and some not so good decisions. I have tried to inform, entertain and update with info, pics, music and commentary. I fell short in defining the site and getting visitors and fans invested in our casue. Digital OverDose Musical Productions is a small Indie production house. We work with Indie artists to create their image, record their music, promote themselves, book their shows, develop as professionals through goal setting; booking shows, raising cash and expense documentation as a sole proprietor; marketing plans that include a press kits with pictures, business cards, website and stage presence. We focus on the individual artist and duos.
D-O-Music has an in house 8 track Pro Tools recording studio, performance space and video production division. We also work community organizations to promote their programs through musical and theatrical presentations that raise funds and consciousness. We cater to the individual needs of the artist and organization and work within various budgets. Digital OverDose Musical Productions hopes to become a non profit organization in 2010 so we can combine counseling and performing arts to expand our services and create innovative ways to help, heal and inspire. Info (203) 606-2456

It seems like for ever since I put pen to paper, but I have been in deep reflection with my Spirit and my Maker.I have had a lot of gratitude for all triumphs and trials. I reviewed my year of ups and downs with tears and smiles. I thought about the things I had done and the things I had tried to do. I relished in my successes and remembered the pain I had gone through. I questioned events of which I had no control that rocked my world and shook my soul. That made me want to love and hate. That made me aspire to be even great. I looked in the mirror and stared in my eyes and I saw wide eyed wonderment still full of surprise. I saw my goals and hopes and dreams. I saw all of what I planned to achieve. I saw my beauty in my smile and faced my fears with my Inner Child. I thought of the loved ones I had lost, Zanette, Bambata, Mary, what the cost! As I started to ask God why, I was comforted by the fact that their Spirits reside in each of us who they have touched. They may have gone, but left behind so much. I challenged myself to grow and change, to strive to better than my very best and not to remain the same. I forgave myself for the mistakes I made and for guidance from God I prayed. I prayed for all those who would be born. I prayed for those who loyalties would be torn. I prayed for all those who would sell their souls for money and fame and a need to control. I pray for those I know and for those I don't that they may see the Light and be filled with hope. I made my list for 2010 of where I was going and where I had been. I gave myself room to alter my plans and gave myself patience to understand. I promised myself to give 110 and if I don't succeed the first time I will try it again and again. I will keep God first, then family and friends. I will do the best I can to reach out to my fellow man and woman. I will open my open my mouth and sing and shout and open my heart to let love out. Love, Peace and Happiness.

For all of you who celebrate and all of you who don't. I thought I would send a note of cheer to help bring in your New New Year. I hope this season is for you all that you hoped it would be. A time to reflect, sings songs of hope, a present under the tree, a moment to be grateful, celebrate new life, a time to just relax and breath away the stress and strife. Perhaps this is a time for you to write that Christmas song, to remember those whose life you shared, but have since long gone. Maybe this is the time to plan for 2010 and resolve to do better and not the same mistakes to make. Well, this may even be a time for you to think about the One on whose birth the day is based, Christ, God's only son. Whatever your reason, you acknowledge the season, I offer this note to you. May you be blessed with hope and peace in everything you do.

Love Shadow

A week ago today I was woken up with a call from my friend and neighbor, Mary telling me that my next door neighbor and family friend Bam had been stabbed to death at Club Sinergy in New Haven, CT. Mary's son and Bam were cousins and very close and my son and her son were best friends. At first I thought she was obviously mistaken. I couldn't speak for a few seconds. Like this can't be true. She must be mistaken. It was someone else. I just saw Bam a couple of days ago. But it was true. I started crying and my estranged husband, who was visiting for the Thanksgiving weekend and my 9 year old son who was very close to Bam came in to my bedroom when they heard me crying. I told them everything was fine. I called my husband back in the room and told him what had happened. He also knew Bam. I told him not to tell Julian yet until it could be done right. Bam was like a second son. He spent alot of time with both my 9 year old, his cousin Mary's son and my older son Jovan playing video games, going swimming at his cousins house. My older son's son and Bams son were the same age, so they hung out together. Its funny because when I first brought my house, I bumped heads with Bam and his grandmother Mrs. Carr a few times about his parking his car in front of my house and hooping it up with his friends. Soon after he and my older son Jovan started hanging out and then everybody started hanging out. Bam was always so respectful and pleasant " Hello Miss Renay, how you doing?".
My husband didn't wait to tell Julian. He went out to the livingroom and immediately told him what happened. This was Julians first experience with death and I wanted it to be done right. My husband thought he needed to deal with reality right then. Needless to say, Julian lost it. He asked a lot of questions about how it happened and where Bam was.
For the next week, I would find myself breaking out in tears constantly, feeling hollow and incredibly sad. My son Jovan was stabbed two years ago and still suffers from PTSD related tremors from it. I cried for his grandmother who was heading a house hold of three men who all needed her guidance and support. She raised Bam and he was the youngest of the three men. I cried for Bam's son and his fiancee. I cried for all that he could have done and will never get a chance to do. I cried for the senselessness of how he died. I cried for my son Jovan who would lose a friend so suddenly and in the same way he was attacked. I cried for my son Julian and his friend who would never see or laugh with or talk to Bam again. They don't understand death. I cried for me because I would never hear Bam say " Hi Miss Renay, how you doing? I went to the funeral today Saturday, December 5th. It was massive. People lined the streets attempting to fit into Pitts Chapel. People in the hallways, on the stairs, in the overflow chapel, in the dining hall, in the church, everywhere. Little kids, teenagers, men and women, White, Black, Hispanic. I stood at the top of the steps and heard the minister share how he found out about Bam being murdered. Bam sent a text message right before he went into Sinergy and he told the recipient that he was safe. The minister told that Bam's life should be celebrated and to remember that his life was not in vain. Revenge is not the answer. I looked around and saw so many young black men and hoped that they heard what the minister was saying. More black men die at the hands of other black men than anything else. I cried for those who would die today at the hands of their brothers. I wondered how many people were friends, family and those who were fascinated. there was a problem with the sound system so all those who were in the basement of the church could not hear or see anything. I remained for about 40 minutes and then I left. I wanted to say hello to the family, but I realized that this was my time to say goodbye and although I did not enter into the church, I did what I needed to do. I am in this for the long haul to listen, bring food, pray, do whatever I could. I would see everyone later today at the house.
When a loved one is taken from us, we are left to wonder why, to wish we had done things differently, to hold each other a little tighter, to sigh a bit heavier, to question the unanswerable, to grapple with the senselessness of it all. We are also left with the memories of his gentleness, his kindness, his courageousness, his humor, his zest for life, his compassion and his hope. Although his physical presence is gone, in each of us his spirit will live on.

I am a hopeless optomist. I believe in miracles. I see the glass half full and not half empty, but sometimes I wonder if I am in the minority. I have alot of thoughts running through my mind and I often wonder if others ever thin the same things I do. I would like to thin so, but very often people don't seem to share my thoughts openly, therefore I feel less inclined to share, but I have reached a point of irritation that is like poison ivory and I must scratch, so here it is.
I remember as a child being fascinated with music, especially live performances, or in my case what I say on television. I went to my first concert at the age of 9 or 10 to see James Brown and I was in awe. I went with my older step sisters and we ended up being close enough to him as he came off stage to smell his sweat and cologne. My older sister touched him and we were caught in a haze of handlers ensuring that we didn't get carried away. I remember being swayed and rocked in the midst of a group of bigger bodies, but it felt good! I started going to NYC in my late 20's to see live poetry and do street performing. I was amazed at how many people came out to see poetry. It made me wonder why people didn't come out like this in CT. As I evolved into a performing artist, I did many shows in CT, NYC and MASS. They ranged form packed houses to a couple of people. In spite of various marketing efforts, attendance was a luck of the draw. Most people shared that they really enjoyed what I do. Some were suprised to see a black female singing and playing rock music. I am a DYI (Do it yourself) artist. I am a late bloomer who chose to start a family and not focus all my time and energy during my teens and 20's into a music career. I felt and still do feel that I can have it all. I believe that I will be the oldest woman to win a Grammy for rock music. I have no illusions about being the next big thing in the major music industry. I am too black and too old, but I can make my own mark. Its funny because in Europe they embrace rock stars of all ages. In America we are very youth conscious. So I play shows, write my music, hone my craft, work with other artists, produce shows, network with other artists and press, buy equipment, sell merch out of my trunk, maintain my websites, email fans and friends and the beat goes on. All the while hoping and looking forward to my big break; The day when I sell my first song to a production company; Being nominated for an award; Making my first million! Unfortunately when I am in school, I am not able to play out as much because I don't have the time to do both successfully, so I play sporatically during the winter and fall and then tour during the summer. I don't get much input form people when I don't play out. I email my fans and friends and watch my website visits obsessively, but I don't get any real feedback from people. I don't know if this is because everyone is so busy or because they don't care to interact. I will be the first to admit that I don't get out to shows as much as I would like because of my schedule. I try to be supportive by featuring artists on my website, recording and producing artists, sharing information, hosting events and producing shows that feature Indie artists. I guess I am finding it difficult to maintain momentum and stimulate fan participation. I would like to think that my art would speak for itself, but I guess not. I can only hope that those who are silently supporting me will someday speak up and out. I would love to hear from you. Peace.

It seems those who are the strongest have to endure the most scrutiny and critism and rejection. Its like the way a diamond is created; elements from the earth smashed together until an indestructible matter is created. When it is polished and shaped, it is one of the most brilliant sights to behold. For all of us who are constantly smashed by the earth, remember we are diamonds in the making. Peace.

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I'm sorry about missing the show yesterday, but I had a 16 hour migraine from 7am that ended up subsiding around 8:30pm. For those of you who came to see me, please stay connected and know that I enjoy nothing more to share the love. I will be playing at The Neverending Bookstore on November 28th w/ special guest Convergence. Until then, love peace and happiness.

I work hard at being open and willing to learn and grow. I enjoy each day because it is a new opportunity to live. I love life and being present for each moment.

As part of a three month promotion, I am giving away my brand new album "8 Steps Forward" for free. Download as many or as few songs as you like. Go ahead, go to the Music page and have fun! Art work and linear notes will be available on my Image page on Monday September 28th. I am so pleased to put everything out like this. I hope you enjoy and share this with others. Peace.

Special thanks to the owner, Rob and his wonderful customer service rep, Jing. Papa John White and I played an evening of original music and poetry. We met Rob's two daughters and their friend who were musicians in the making; intelligent, beautiful and charming. Hey maybe you all could start a band. John and I were treated like royalty. Jing was pleasant and helpful. she liked what we did so much she referred us to her other place of employment The Gramophone Shop. Rob and his children sat and participated in our show. It would not have been complete without a couple, whose names I can't recall, they stayed the entire night and shared as much with us as we did with them. Mocha Coffee House is a FABulous place to play. We played for tips and merch. Mocha provided the tip jar. Yes, a real big tip jar. Thank you for your consideration. Mocha rocks because they support Indie music and show appreciation. They understand the efforts we put in to come and play. The environment was warm, friendly and comfortably decorated. It was too cold to sit or play on the deck, but a river runs behind the Mocha and there is a small park. I shoot video which I will post soon. I did not know what to expect and I was pleasantly surprised. We played until 10 and I was to leave for Florida at 3am. I got home around 11:30 and was so amped that I stayed up the rest of the night into the day and didn't go to sleep until the following night. Imagine, people who come out to enjoy live, original music, a FAB venue, a supportive staff and a venue owner who is truly interested in supporting Indie art and its fans. This could be the future of venues in CT. See you in the spring.